Why leaving him was so hard



This text is for you if you are young, in love—or think you are—and if something in your relationship feels wrong, even though you can’t quite put it into words.


I was in a toxic relationship for years.

Not because I was stupid.

Not because I wanted violence.

But because I was emotionally dependent.


I thought I was nothing without him.

I thought love had to hurt.

I thought that if I just tried hard enough, he would change.


He didn’t.


I stayed even though I was hit.

I stayed even though I was used—emotionally and mentally.

I stayed even though I was cheated on. More than once.


Why?


Because toxic relationships slowly pull you away from yourself. They don’t start with violence on day one. They start with attention, with promises, with the feeling of finally being “seen.” And at some point, you are so far away from your own self-worth that you believe you deserve all of it.


I excused his behavior.

I made myself smaller.

I felt ashamed—and I stayed silent.


In the end, I wasn’t the one who left.

He broke up with me because he fell in love with someone else.


That destroyed me.


I fell into a deep depression. I felt worthless, replaceable, empty. Years of my life suddenly felt meaningless. I had given everything—and was still left behind.


And yet today, I say something I never would have believed back then:


This breakup was the best thing that ever happened to me.


Not immediately.

Not easily.

Not without pain.


But it was the beginning of freedom.


Only without him could I breathe again.

Only without him could I see how unhealthy this relationship truly was.

Only without him did I learn that love does not create fear, does not leave bruises, and does not separate you from yourself.


If you’re reading this and recognize yourself in it, I ask you for one thing:


Take your feelings seriously.

Love should not feel like survival.


You are not too sensitive.

You are not to blame.

And you are never obligated to stay—no matter how much you love someone.


Sometimes the end of a relationship is not failure.

Sometimes it is rescue.


And even if it doesn’t feel like it right now:

You are stronger than you think. 💛


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